Tuesday, July 26, 2005
awesomedictatorprincess©
i.
forgive the narcissism, but that about sums up my greatest ambition.
unlike some ill-bred individuals who squander their ill-advised hopes on ill-starred dreams, i believe that my ambition is truly fucking a.
i mean, where else do you find an ambition equipped with enough length and girth to choke on? and where else do you find an ambition, when broken down into three parts, would make you either awesome, dictator or princess? only here, my friends. only here. and it's my ambition, mind you. get your own.
i had been thinking a lot about world domination ever since i broached the subject with a friend two weeks ago. we were talking about the incompetencies of modern politics when out of nowhere, i told him, "i've always wanted my very own island. so i could order people off if i wanted to. YOU! off my island. i've always wanted to say that."
he laughed. "you'd make an awesome dictator princess [sic]. i'd perform in your court, music and poetry."
"thank you. you would be my favorite court jester. i would give you a jingly hat and call you my squishy. if you were bad, i would not order you off my island. instead, i would have you tied up and put on a semi-floating boat. if my temper passed, i would have my captain of the guard retrieve you. because i can feel love like that."
"damn, you would make an awesome dictator princess [sic]!"
and so it was settled. i would be an awesomedictatorprincess© and i would rule this earth with a pretty bejeweled fist.
ii.
since that conversation, my ambition took a backseat to incessant work deadlines and the unchecked growth of paperwork in my in-tray. i all but forgot about it—until two days ago, that is. i was in bed, recovering from the aftereffects of a particularly heated discussion with my man on whether my turquoise garters should stay on or off, when my foundling ambition nudged me violently from stupor. suddenly, like petulant royalty, i said, "i'm thirsty. i want sparkling water."
he replied, "we're all out," and flopped on the bed beside me, still blissfully unaware that responses in the negative could do awful things to my aristocratic temper.
"you don't understand. i want sparkling water."
"later."
i grabbed hold of a precious appendage. "i'm thirsty. i've done worse than break things in half when i am parched. you don't want me to ruin a nail, do you?"
he looked at me for the longest time—then got up and gave me a cheeky grin. "alright, alright." he dressed hurriedly. then he looked back at me before heading out the door. "don't move an inch. i'll be back."
i smiled. and though i was smug, i called out, "YOU! off my island." because i've always wanted to say that. and because an awesomedictatorprincess© should always have the last word.
iii.
the problem is that in order for my regime to run like clockwork, i have to actually own an island.
so today, i alternate between bouts of impatience and patience as i scan an inventory of retail-infested islands that will make this delusion of grandeur work. and tonight, i will go out and threaten people who owe me money with taxes and pseudo-island eviction so i don't lose my touch.
oh, and one other thing. the rule of birthdays says that i have one whole week to play pretend and not be slammed for it. my birthday was last sunday, so i have about five more days to go. indulge me, the awesomedictatorprincess© says.
or else.
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transience said...
thank you for all the birthday greetings. awesomedictatorprincess© is very pleased.
4:14 PM
rolly said...
Yes, you highness. Belated happy birthday. I can help looking for an island for you but I swear i'll only be visiting lest you go "off with his head!" if i do something that does not please thee. hahaha
Actually, as the man in this story proved, you can have your way anywhere as long as you know how to play your cards right. hehe
4:40 PM
kramer said...
i will be your sex slave for the week. take me to your island.
4:46 PM
grumblefish said...
Bow... Scrape...
A Thousand Stars shall be commanded to sparkle, in honor of your most divine birthday,
Your Majesty. [Damn! Sycophancy is hard work! I wonder where the 'loo
is, in this place ?]
And, if I may so humbly enquire,
hast thy Thorazine drip been perfectly adequate to thy tastes?
.../Scrape .../Bow
5:02 PM
gulnaz said...
Belated b'day greetings, sweet awesomedictatorprincess!
i think you make an faboulous awesomedictatorprincess.
Wishing a long and prosperous reign too!
:) this was really cute...*hugs*
happy birthday darling!
awesomedictatorprincess rules! hehe
5:10 PM
Fist said...
lol classic.
5:16 PM
john said...
HAHAHAHA! hahahaha! heheheheh.... haha... err... hehm... err.. uhhmm..
ok, that means i need to bow now?
ok. not in the mood for being punished for not doin' this so...
a happy birthday (week?) to you, 'yer high majesty... ness.
5:19 PM
sCruuw said...
Happy birthday!.. I have some hot boys in eyeliner that I know for your majestic eEntertainment! Do as you wish with them! Feel free to tatoo awesomedictatorprincess© all over their asses!
5:26 PM
trine said...
Happy belated birthday awsomedictatorprincess©!
Sparkling water is surely not enough for a birthday, though, where is the bollinger when you need it? sending you lots of virtual sparkling champagne and hoping you find your island where ever it may be. Knowing you you've aready got one somewhere....
5:35 PM
royal ass stylist said...
awesomedictatorprincess©, i'll see you in a tiara, satin bikini, swarovzki-studded havianas, waterproof mascara, with your own platinum machine gun. the fountains in your palace will flow with flavored sparkling water.
5:45 PM
RuKsaK said...
Where do I sign for citizenship?
Whatever Princess commands.
6:41 PM
nin said...
Belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY...
all the best.....
7:01 PM
Jay said...
Of course I wish you (belatedly) the best of birthday wishes. In your quest to become awesomedictatorprincess, you might want to first sharpen your claws/hone your skills with a cult. It's like being a dictator, but on a smaller basis. But the good news is, your dedicated followers will feel obliged to fork over their earnings to the Greater Cause, and then you'll be able to fund your island in no time at all.
7:09 PM
snst_blvd said...
trans, my mom is a real state hot shot. she can get you an island for real. ^_^ and if i could convince her, i would just have that island and give it to you for free, since it is your birthday. lol =)
7:28 PM
anonymous said...
you're so adorably sexy when it's your birthday. especially.
7:35 PM
finnegan said...
Here I am! Party hat and joint with many jingly things jangling and jumping for joy. Jeer me if you like, but a birthday for Trans requires a genuine jive jukebox!
Come on over here Trans, and let me give you a big fat smootch!
Jealous everyone?
10:41 PM
The Fool said...
I liked this part best...
"thank you. you would be my favorite court jester. i would give you a jingly hat and call you my squishy"
See, I AM a Court Jester. I do it for a living! Thank you so much for recognizing all our hard work. Oh, and Happy Birthday! :)
10:41 PM
Fist said...
"Jealous everyone?"
Of a smooch from you? Are you nuts?
10:56 PM
Mere Existence said...
On my island, birthday rules only apply to me.
11:01 PM
Carrie said...
I say birthdays should be celebrated no less than a week, so kudos my dear....and I LOVE that title....awesomedictatorprincess.....so you! as I bow down to her majesty in earnest, praying lightly that she will allow me to set foot on her island, as the lowly peasant girl that i am. ;)
You are amazing. truly.
Best wishes birthday girl.
11:02 PM
You've Got What I Need... said...
Potential Ladies in Waiting need to submit their resumes where?
11:41 PM
finnegan said...
You've answered my question with your response Fist.
11:56 PM
SafeTinspector said...
"So you say its your birthday, it happens every year, you eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer."
AwesomeDictatorPrincess(c) is all well and good, but where is the wiggle room for my daughter to become Benevolent Dictator of Earth if there's an AwesomeDictatorPrincess splitting the loyalty of the populus?
1:40 AM
Sara said...
precious appendages are valuable indeed.
happy belated birthday. i was at a birthday party on sunday, drinking both white and red sangria made by the birthday girl. i retroactively toast to you.
1:48 AM
gusgreeper said...
I heart you (big time). awesomerad
2:15 AM
stella said...
leos are known for being like royalty and you have that special, one-of-a-kind flair! happy (b)e-lated birthday, honorable empress of the island! :)
2:27 AM
Aleksu said...
Your wish is my command, your highness.
Allow this insignificant island dweller to wish you a happy birthday.
Sparkling water?
Not a problem!
2:29 AM
Lorena said...
happy belated birthday!!! :) hope you had a great time and thanks for sharing with us some of your dreams. you are such a unique individual and it shines in your posts. enjoyed reading this.
you rule ;) girl, ms.awesomedictatorprincess!
2:35 AM
Blog ho said...
you grab precious appendages when commands are not followed? I would be the islands biggest rule breaker.
5:04 AM
grumblefish said...
Salutations in both quality and quantity beyond the ken of the likes of me are, nonetheless, offered humbly and in full recognition of their ultimate
insignificance by your most lowly
and grovellingly obsequious serf,
[Hey! I'm getting the hang of this]
Grumble the Fish. Possessing neither the pleasing face of a trout, nor the rosy demeanor of a sunfish, I may have solved the
problem of our current "terra nullius" status, if I may be so bold, your imperial and majestic awesomedictatorprincessnessshiphood
-simply annex the island of Dokdo
from either Japan or Korea, on behalf of whichever country you haven't annexed it from, then begin extending your beneficent
hegemony over the inhabitants (seal lions and other apolitical creatures) while other claimant countries are off settling matters,
behind the proverbial woodshed. At
a mere 56 acres, it seems kind of small, but with 200 nautical mile
territorial water limits, your diplomatic dance card is sure to fill quickly. Best of all, it sounds idyllic, just right for long summer weekends,with fireworks
and such. May I discretely bow out,
so that you may consider the idea, while I may be hauled, lips first, into one fishnet or the other?
With profound unctuousness,and zeal
beyond measure,I remain eternally
your loyal and humble servant,
Grumblefish
5:55 AM
justrose said...
happy birthday! so are you an astrological lioness? awesome!
6:11 AM
Sarah said...
see.. but you would say..
YOU.. off my island.
in the sweetest possible way.
soon.. your beau will be anticipating your every need and you will not have to grab precious appendages to illustrate your point.
oh wait.. he's a scorpio, you'll ALWAYS have to do that.
pisces are easier to whip.
7:19 AM
Sarah said...
btw.
i absolutely adored this post.
it's soo.. awsomedictatorprincess fabulous.
with a cherry on top.
snowflakes are so awesome.
7:20 AM
SafeTinspector said...
Sometimes, when I'm all alone, I like to say "Zodiacal" and I make it rhyme with "Maniacal."
7:21 AM
EGO SVM CAROLVS said...
Belated HBD, is all :]
7:32 AM
Jax said...
ah... but an amateur still. one day you will come to realize a real awesomedictator wouldn't need some paltry piece of papwer saying they own an island before they start ordering people off...
I heard a piece of advice for getting a job... walk into the interview like you've already got it. so... yeah. BTW, my island is bigger than yours.
8:09 AM
transience said...
rolly >> i would never have your head chopped off. i am too much of a sophisticate to do that, see. as for the cards, i just play the hand i am dealt. heh.
kramer >> there is no island. not yet. stew in your own goo, bubba. LOL!
grumblefish >> mmmm. thorazine. thank you.
gulnaz >> "hugs* back! you are awesomerad, dearest.
fist >> hahahahaha! thanks for the you-know-what.
john >> quit yer laughing.
sCruuw >> ooohhh, boys in eyeliner! i'm like a kid in a candy store already. you give such the greatest gifts. you think their asses are wide enough to accommodate the whole word? with the copyright sign, even?
trine >> my tastes are simple but elegant. the sparkling water will do. as long as it is brought to me pronto. with regards to the island, i am still window shopping.
royal ass stylist >> who are you? you won't tell? well, never mind. i love your taste.
RuKsaK >> you're already honorary citizen.
avik >> thanks very much.
jay >> great advice. i shall have to put a SUPPORT ME button somewhere on here. all currencies allowed. what do you think?
sunset eyes >> thanks very much, dear. i am in real estate, too. but not a hotshot, sadly. now fork over that island!
monsterspank >> hee. me want hugs and kisses!
finnegan >> i'm always good for jeering. and you ought not to be too familiar with awesomedictatorprincess©. smooches are for delicate level four courtesans. i am level one.
the fool >> my favorite court jester may need some company. want to be his second?
fist again >> LOL!
mere existence >> oh. you're good.
mitzzee >> are you kidding me? you'd be, like, my party girl.
ygwin >> you're in. no questions.
finnegan again >> LOL!
safetinspector >> your lovely girl belongs to an entirely different league. i like her. but i win.
sara >> and because of that, you will always be special in my court.
corinna >> pack your things. you're coming with me.
stella >> on days like these, i love being a leo.
blex >> but we're tight. you'll be my court photographer and you can send over lovely photos to the guys at the retirement home regularly.
lorena >> it's great that you say i rule. it will be like self-fulfilling prophecy.
blog ho >> if i ever allowed you on my island in the first place. i cannot allow delinquents on my space. i have to keep the peace. i love you but i don't love you that much.
grumblefish again >> i will reply to this in length later. my secretary has not arrived.
justrose >> yeah! lions rule!
sarah >> oh god, that was so funny. but really, i think i could be real nasty if i wanted to. but sometimes, it's just not worth the trouble. i would rather not have an opinion than waste my energies on a complete asshat. thanks for adoring the post--i kind of enjoyed it, too. and snowflakes are awesomerad. always. fancy an island getaway?
safetinspector again >> nice vocab. i have use for people like you.
carolvs >> thanks, sweet one.
jax >> YOU! off my island.
8:49 AM
Sarah said...
of course. but only if i'm in charge of polishing your toenails. i get to choose the color.
9:03 AM
Sarah said...
i like to call them toe talons if they are long enough.
9:04 AM
Christopher Trottier said...
Your narcissism is forgiven.
9:12 AM
ty bluesmith said...
funny girls are the shit.
11:29 AM
bullish1974 said...
thy kingdom come. happy birthday, trans ;)
11:37 AM
nicole said...
happy belated birthday!!
this post made me laugh so much - awesomedictatorprincess© rocks.
11:45 AM
Abster said...
Happy Birthday Trans, I mean, you awesomedictatorprincess majesty! ;) Hahaha!
Happy Birthday to the awesomedictatorprincess!
Happy Birthday to the awesomedictatorprincess!
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday to the awesomedictatorprincess!
I'd love to visit your island...but only if you offer me perpetual amnesty. *puppy dog eyes*
12:49 PM
finnegan said...
Just wondering, awesomedictatorprincess©. Where does the accent go on the compound noun---front, center or...erm...the rear?
2:24 PM
Calaloola said...
happy birthday, your majesty :)
i think we must be astrological sisters, cos mine wasy july 5
calaloola (back from a breath-taking bicycle tour of norway, minus the bike ;))
3:03 PM
Ambassador of Spank said...
the monster spank collective sends its warmest regards to the awesomedictatorprincess© and would like to formalize diplomatic ties... we also have renamed our eastern fjord to awesomedictatorprincess© fjord in honor of your birth anniversary. furthermore, in times of war, conflict, bad hair days, and party pooper invasions, the monster spank collective will commit its storm troopers to fight along side the awesomedictatorprincess© forces. we would also like to offer you some blogshares as further tribute but the spank exchequer has not figured-out how to do it. almost lastly, your declaration (comment) created happy bubbling noises in the monster's throat and would love to give you hugs and kisses! we wish to thank you for your serious hilarity.
4:42 PM
MitzieBitchie said...
Nice one!.. Drop me a line........
5:04 PM
transience said...
sarah >> my toenails are like a child's toenails. short, pink and pristine. no toe talons for me.
christopher >> excellent! you'll be my third court jester. but you won't be my favorite.
ty >> i like making you laugh, blue eyes.
bullish1974 >> utter blasphemy. i love it.
nicole >> apparently, awesomedictatorprincess© is also funny. heh.
abster >> ah. i shall have to think about your offer. but thanks for the song. assuming you sung it.
finnegan >> it depends on my mood. but i like saying it in one whoosh, unstressed.
calaloola >> oh my god. you're back! i've missed you. you'll blog about your trip, won't you?
monster spank >> you are seriously my favorite spank. a flat palm right on the rump with a dull cracking sound. i accept everything you have offered and everything you haven't. carry on, my good ambassador. later we shall talk.
mitziebitchie >> you look good enough to be art in my court. maybe i will drop you a line.
5:18 PM
claudzki said...
okay, okay, i should be beheaded for the lateness of my appearance at the court of awesomedictatorprincess©, but since i'm in my own realm and reign, guess i should be excused :D
happy birthday [waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay belated, sincere all the same]!!!
...wishing her most serene highness all the best...ermm...stuff...
ps: why were ambassadors not sent to invite us to the party?! :D
pps: where do we address her majesty's gifts? :D
ppps: m on an extended hiatus...how's blogger been? :D
6:12 PM
Jax said...
Why would I be on your island in the first place, honestly!?!
but you're learning, at least. good girl. one day you'll make a fine overlordprincess whatever it was :P
7:34 PM
jey said...
happy birthday, belated, dear!
and here's to owning more islands!:)
8:18 PM
bismuth said...
here's a belated hug, precious one. hey, where's your yearly treat to your loving, faithful servants, ahem, friends? i can give you another hug and lots of kisses when we meet. hehe.
8:25 PM
finnegan said...
Bismuth, you're in line after me, but way before Fist, who only gets to blow...uh...kisses.
8:46 PM
Potted-flower said...
HAPPY BIRTHDAYYY!!! oh, and btw, if you want an island, buy a new kitchen. with the little island things, you know? Well anyway, lure someone into your kitchen, make 'em sit on the island, and say 'YOU, GET OFF MY ISLAND!!'.
ta daaa.
10:28 PM
Carrie said...
YAY!! I'm YOUR party Girl! SNAP SISTA SLEDGE....can't WAIT! I'll bring the booze n the congos! ;)
11:39 PM
Kerouaced said...
Happy B-day. That was so damn witty. I loved it. I really do want a jingly hat though too. If I am allowed to come to your island I will polish the brass fittings on your designer microwave...
1:50 AM
Fist said...
Have you seen my new blog Finnegan? I think you'd like it.
:)
5:21 AM
Perfect Virgo said...
I'd best go stock up on sparkling water before I too feel the sharp edge of your tongue young lady!
5:36 AM
grumblefish said...
A thousand apologies (actual cash value: 1/20 of one cent) for interrupting your daily grape peeling ceremonies, majestic awesomedictatorprincess©. I bring
news from the world of floating hypodermics and other medical waste, that is to say, Neptune's trackless void.
In my haste to vacate your radiant premises, I may have neglected to mention a helpful tip: Avoid increasing the Thorazine drip until deliberations about your new island have been concluded. Several of my aquatic colleagues report diminished capacities after having been inadvertently poked by discarded needles
encountered during their daily travels.
It's rumoured that NASCAR is developing a TV sevies for syndication,
based on the once-popular sport of the "Submarine Races". The first test track is slated for Dokdo Island. This sport combines the pace of seniors golf, the
sheer tedium of watching anything make left turns for a couple of straight hours,
and the sepulchral silence of deep space. It should not prove too invasive to the island itself, except for the abrupt and
vigorous thrusting of periscopes, piercing
the dark wetness from time to time. My understanding is that you know something of this behaviour, but I felt duty-bound
to report it as a possibility, anyway.
Armed with these new facts, your decision
to sieze this island, free its denizens
from the yoke of sea lion tyranny, and to
proudly establish Delusia, will be the
stuff of legends , told around the campfires, wherever pharmaceuticals are
plentiful.
5:55 AM
mrsmogul said...
World domination!! I am all for it!!
6:10 AM
Patry Francis said...
I'm sure the awesomedictatorprincess would do a better job dominating the world than the current powers that be...
Happy birthmonth. (ADPs get more than just a day.)
10:42 AM
taryl cabot said...
Still waiting for your servants dressed in livery to arrive with my official invitation to your excellency's birthday ball.
Would it be crass to ask a princessdictatorawesome© for an appropriate gift list? Would hate to give offence & be sent into permanent exile for displeasing your highness.
Best wishes Princess Trans.
1:36 PM
slim whale said...
Oh mighty one! Make me your slave! I swear, I’m domesticated. I can play dead, roll over, do somersaults, and shave your armpit hair. Just say the word and I’d gadly have sex with your footprint. Now, for your birthday, my liege, I offer you my undying fealty. I only request that you do not lop off my head or any other significant appendage.
Happy birthday awesomedictatorprincess!
2:46 PM
bismuth said...
sorry boys! i don't fall in line. i am beyond protocol. it's just the way it is.
7:40 PM
mussolini said...
why, why must you become me? :)
8:55 PM
finnegan said...
Fisted, I visited your new site, which is a labour of self-love dedicated to the likes of...moi?. I didn't know you cared!
I think you'll like the love I gave in return. Go check out my reply at your
comments bar table. I think you'll like them as well.
Kisses.
9:27 PM
The Fool said...
Oh, I have a lapel pin which says LOOKING FOR A COUNTRY TO RULE. So true, so true...
10:04 PM
transience said...
claudzki >> i would never behead you. why does everybody think i'm the queen of hearts? i missed you around here.
p.s. it was a private party. if you don't mind.
p.p.s. here or here. thank you cards will follow.
p.p.p.s. blogger's been behaving. and it's still free. yay!
jax >> why are you still here again?
jey >> i'd be happy with just one.
bismuth >> sunday or monday. i look forward to all the affection.
finnegan >> we're going to have a problem with that arrangement.
potted-flower >> LOL! good one.
mitzzee >> we'll wear black bikinis beside the pool. you drink and i, erm, smile.
kerouaced >> you'd be more than my jester. you'd be, like, the royal machinist. hell if i know what that is.
fist >> oh dear.
perfect virgo >> but i would never grab your precious appendage. promise.
grumblefish >> i am still stuck on you being hauled, lips first, into my fishnets. where do you get these ideas? they're horribly tickling.
mrsmogul >> you're classy like that.
patry >> i love how you say that. and i can't seem to get hold of your URL. i don't want to miss out on a potentially useful subject.
taryl >> my apologies. but it was a private ball. but i may hold another one soon since i can pretty much announce myself a second birthday this year. gift list to follow.
slim whale >> how would you have sex with my footprint? this i have to see. pack your bags. you're on my island.
bismuth again >> very true, sassy girl.
mussolini >> ssshhhh.
finnegan again >> oh dear.
the fool >> i would confiscate that pin. i would.
10:24 PM
finnegan said...
If a quacker is gonna be a sitting duck after turd-bombing...
10:25 PM
Carrie said...
i own a sweet black bikini i bought in mexico this yr...pool, drinks and erm...smiles....sounds good.... can't wait til u buy this island. ;)
10:29 PM
transience said...
finnegan >> i don't get it. =(
mitzzee >> we are going to have so much fun! LOL!
10:35 PM
DLAK said...
Nice post, lucky man.
a few name suggestions.. .Transsienceistan, Transivania, Transtopia, Land of the bent dick, or maybe Norway.
10:41 PM
Fist said...
Neither does Finn.
10:56 PM
indigo said...
I've done some research for you. This is just a sampling of islands in the Bahamas or South America for sale affordably under $400k:
bahamas
Bahamas Cay - 12 acres - $295k
Carrington Cay - 1.4 acres - $375k
belize
Cockroach Caye - 10 acres - $250k
nicaragua
Isla Granada - 2 acres - $190k
panama
Pacific Island - 8.5 acres - $365k
Isla Aguja - 17 acres - $395k
best buy: Isla Chica - 2/3 acre - $65k
11:53 PM
grumblefish said...
It does sound rather surreal, if I may be permitted to offer my humble view up to your
adventurous and yet all-seeing and benign awesomedictatorprincesshoodshipdommistress
[Jeez, I hope I covered everything...] but
I meant no affront. I was merely commenting in a general way about a cichlid's lot in life, which is more typically, to be caught up in a fishnet, frozen, then chopped and breaded. I would only modify this end slightly for myself, prefering to give in after an epic battle with hook, line, and fisherman, rather than the usual way out. I couldn't help noticing from your avatar that you may
have done battle in similar circumstances,
carrying away the bait victoriously. #2
spoon, isn't it? On the other hand, it
would be an honor to be hauled away in one of your fishnets, all other fishnets aside. As an aside, the tickling may
occur as the result of trying to get
your captive to swim backwards- the gills
are mercifully compact, but noticeably
erect when driven by a strong current.
With repeated practice, your fish can move
in advancing or retrograde motion, with
equal facility. But more often, it's the
pan, long before then.
1:05 AM
Roger Stevens said...
Just been catching up on your last few posts and comments. Bit like reading a book - and took about as long. Lovely writing as always, damn sexy too - which you know. And interesting bunch of comments, too - especially on this post.
What will you call the island then?
Happy birthday. Have a great year.
1:40 AM
arthur decko said...
and i would crawl on my hands and knees through bloody razorblades to kiss your bejewled hand...
12:31 PM
grumblefish said...
D'you know, trans, I do believe that some villain's taken over control of the panel
for your garter color management. Either that, or you've been basting yourself with
curry sauce. Surely you don't want me to pop over for a surprise inspection, wearing a
lobster bib and grin, hmm?
[note to visitors- get it right, or face the
consequences. That's right you lot, shape up, or it's off the Island, okay?]
1:11 PM
Calaloola said...
hey trans!
missed you too. as you saw when you visited, my blogging on the trip is rather tunnel-visioned at the moment. maybe once i have pried my stubborn fingers away from certain experiences and become content to write them off to never-to-be-repeated history, i will blog some more about the many other sensational experiences i have. it really was the best trip i've ever made, long before the chance meeting i blogged on.
now i'm off to catch up on some of what YOUVE been up to in the last 2 months :)
1:28 PM
grumblefish said...
D'you know, trans, I do believe that some villain's taken over control of the panel
for your garter color management. Either that or you've been basting yourself with
curry sauce. Surely you don't want me to pop over for a surprise inspection, wearing a
lobster bib and grin, hmm?
2:38 PM
Sk8RN said...
What a highly entertaining post. Happy belated birthday, awesomedictatorprincess!
2:56 PM
Pink Lemonade Diva said...
happy belated birthday, trans! I am a fabulous parallel parker, if your island requires a valet, rickshaw parker or such.
3:40 AM
transience said...
dlak >> LAND OF THE BENT DICK is tres cool. but i am bent on calling my island ISLAND. thank you.
fist >> you think?
indigo >> holy crap! that was awesome. your reward consists of free trips to my island. and drinks with lavendar umbrellas.
grumblefish >> i suppose i shall have to outlaw fishing on my island if it encourages such acts of indiscretion.
roger >> my answer to your question is my response to dlak's comment.
arthur >> you wouldn't have to try so hard. i adore being adored. so i'll go easy on you.
grumblefish again >> assuming i would be the proverbial lobster?
calaloola >> but what beautiful, poignant tunnel-vision it was. i think that sometimes we have to see things in our own small ways to make the experience more meaningful, yeah?
Sk8RN >> being a dictator does have entertainment value, yes. heh.
pl diva >> that position has now been created especially for you. huzzah!
10:52 AM
anumita said...
Hope you had a wonderful birthday, your Highness. What a swell idea, awesomedictatorprincess!
7:52 PM
transience said...
i did! thank you. my regal head bows in appreciation.
