blogcollector's best photo of trans for postmastergeneral's comment
Friday, July 08, 2006

london
i've always thought that i had been born in the wrong body on the wrong continent. i'm sure of it now.

what i had were images of london and what had happened the day before. and suddenly everything i had were those from far away who, like a subtle turn of phrase, had made a nowhere into a somewhere. suddenly everything i had were the bridges and the buildings and the broken bodies. suddenly they were me, and i was them.

and what followed was this. me trying to connect to those beautiful, elusive ones whom i knew but had never met. wondering if they were okay. wondering if their loved ones were safe. wondering if they were close enough to the ravages. wondering, always just wondering.

i'm still sitting, looking out the window, waiting for the letters that haven't come. and 6,672 miles away from home is a heart that beats and hurts and weeps. my heart.

| o^o |45 kph
45 Comments


DLAK said...

Yes my heart is heavy, oh my god what the fuck are we doing!? We (humans) have heaven right here but we are sooooo messed up we cant enjoy it. I believe the only way all this shit stops is if we (the world) are confronted with a common enemy like aliens or a disease. It may be the only way for society to survive is for it to colapse first.

6:55 PM
Jax said...

'society' as we put it is always destructive. civilisations are defined by who they fight against. I don't expect it to stop anytime soon.

And that said, I have a bizarre apathy towards it all. I think it is a self-defence mechanism (as selfish as this may be). I have trouble dealing with my own small world of suffering, let alone the larger one everyone else enjoys. I wouldn't last long.

7:04 PM
Cocaine Jesus said...

dlak>>>you are so bloody right. we are human beings and we are all the same, regardless of colour or faith. we are living in eden and WE make it hell.
relgion is sadly the cause of all this violence because religion (and not faith) divides in a way that only tribalistic humans can.

all faiths should either put aside their little differences and unite as one or fuck off entirely and let a new and more loving, liberal faith replace it.

there are beliefs and practises that, all though not as big as christianity or islam, BUT are equally as valid and possibly more benign.

jax>>>sadly you are right. mankind is a kind of sickness.
as for apathy . . .
be careful of that contagion as there are always unscrupulous people out there who live off of apathy and turn and twist it to their own designs and then we 'free' people really suffer.

trans>>>London is beautiful(and yes i am biased) has suffered worse than this. We will bury our dead and maintain our ridiculous 'stiff upper lips' and we will hold two fingers up high to AQ, or whoever did this evil act and say this . . .

'is that the best you can do? c'mon try it again. we're ready for anything you mother fuckers can chuck at us. bring it on.'

as for you being born in the wrong body . . .
having never seen it i should not comment but it sounds bloody fantastic as it is so don't go changing it.

being born in the wrong place?
no i don't think so.

it would be mega wonderful if only you lived here though. i could pop in for a cuppa tea!!!

give that beating heart a kiss, it deserves it!

8:35 PM
A-hole! said...

the fuck? was reading the comments and looks like people have been watching war of the worlds lately. heh.

8:40 PM
Aleksu said...

I really hope those letters arrive to bring a measure of solace to your heart.

9:15 PM
Carrie said...

Yes this touched me as well and not just because I have relatives there either. I know where you are coming from with this post.

10:18 PM
Kerouaced said...

Well said Trans. I don't think you're quite human if you can't feel for people when something senseless like this happens. Nowhere should innocent people die. This incident received a lot of press because of the spectacular nature of it but we shouldn't forget about all the other places in this world where people are needlessly killed daily. I would have to agree with dlak it seems our society might have to collapse first to survive...

10:52 PM
bullish1974 said...

i hear ya. my heart broke when i heard the news.

10:55 PM
Lorena said...

very pretty words for london. my prayers follow them to where they are.
lovely again transience :)

10:55 PM
snst_blvd said...

where is the world coming to?

damn crazy people.

12:53 AM
Perfect Virgo said...

You're soul was born in a compassionate body. We who read you are richer for it. Thank you.

12:59 AM
stella said...

this post makes me feel like we are all connected. my heart weeps too.

12:59 AM
trine said...

we're ok here in Brighton. close, but not close enough... it's horrible though. feels really weird and mental that this should happen... but everyone I know are OK!

1:08 AM
gusgreeper said...

i hate it, it is scary. sucks we live in a world where we can't all get along an accept one another. we all know these things will happen again, i hate feeling so unsafe and being what i consider harassed by every news station to watch it. knowing it and feeling pain for those hurt etc is enough for me thank you no need to watch it over and over again.

2:52 AM
gusgreeper said...

goes wihtout saying but i will say it anyway.

beautiful.writing.my.friend.

2:53 AM
post said...

humanity. we have the capacity for incredible compassion and incredible depravity.

things like this are always devastating.

3:00 AM
Mr Anigans said...

it's things like this that make me seek seclusion.
it's things like this that make me come back out again.

7:02 AM
Roger Stevens said...

We're all okay in this family and household. My son lives in London but he's all right.

If you think it's to do with religion, I think you make a mistake.

Terrorists are sick. They are not going to succeed. They kill innocent people, men, women and children. They are evil. Church leaders condemn them in whatever faith they claim to represent.

Meanwhile - it makes no sense. We just get on with our lives.

Peace and love.

8:12 AM
milktea said...

because generally this world is disappointing.

8:54 AM
Sarah said...

shaun and his family are all OK. but i know EXACTLY what you mean.

i freaked the fuck out and couldn't stop.

9:09 AM
alix said...

as i said to deek, i am a very angry alix.
you see, part of me is in the west, the other part is in London.
i could curse a blue stream, but ruksak did it so well...
what kind of world will my child inherit?

9:19 AM
Abster said...

It's so sad, isn't it? How some people can endanger, hurt and kill others for the sake of self-interest...

2:05 PM
claudzki said...

felt similar emotions when 9/11 happened in new york...

...and to think, the day before, the city was in jubilation for winning the host city bid for the 2012 games...

...but it's weird you know, the way we feel this surge of pain when something happens to london or new york, or some major city in the world...

...but when it comes to regions like darfur, iraq, palestine, it's become so commonplace - it's shameful that a big chunk of humanity doesn't really give a damn - so much so that we need something like 9/11 or london to make us realize that "shit...that could have been me...or someone i held dear..."

2:06 PM
Potted-flower said...

I'm sorry I didn't read that sooner. that was the best london post I have read. Come here. You should be here.

3:00 PM
ninjato said...

I feel for ya trans seriously, sometimes we all become so wrapped up in our own bubbles that we don't realize that sometimes the world truly a dangerous place and there really are sick psychos out there... and off-topic, I know this is kind of late but bel8ted you-know-what...and yes, I know, I'm a heartless and unsentimental jackass, but that's just me, (heh)...

3:37 PM
I.:.S.:. said...

Thanks

8:40 PM
Blog ho said...

that was lovely. thank you for saying it.

10:14 PM
Anonymous said...

i have always wanted to be born in europe.:)
this kind of mindless murder is shocking whether it happens in london or iraq, so many lives destroyed for whatt?
ty 4 writing this.
hugs.

gulnaz

10:56 PM
shadowbox said...

You, too, could get the "round button thingies" if you were on a Mac :)

As for your post, to paraphrase Bruce Cockburn: "you see the extremes of what humans can be..."

12:06 AM
SafeTinspector said...

I'll buy "wrong continent," possibly. But wrong body?
What sort of body would you rather be in? I've often wondered what I would look like as an underage Vietnamese prostitute; is your ideal anything like that?

1:39 AM
allister said...

It's a whole world controlled by a few men and there are unfortunate people who get caught up in the middle. It really gets to me when people say 'its bound to happen and there's nothing we can do about it.' That is a really sad thought.

7:57 AM
karma said...

i love london, it feels like home. but one never knows where terror will strike, and that's sad

10:43 AM
SafeTinspector said...

Not to belittle what happened, but statistically speaking we're safer with terrorists than drunk drivers. Heck, we're safer with terrorists than we are with a bar of soap in the shower!

As a society, we should think like a cloud of gnats. No fringe minority can ever get us all.

This is small consolation indeed to those directly affected. But that would be true for any tragedy.

12:22 PM
Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

I love London and the people there having spent a quite a bit of time there over the years. I think these horrible tragedies, or the fact that people murder like that in cold blood is always so hard to comprehend. There is so much tragedy in the world on a daily basis though I am not so sure why something like this affects everyone so severely when the every day tragedies do not.

1:10 PM
deryke said...

thats sad. and i'm sad too. sorry london. i'm sad for you! y'all have my prayers. -lil d!

5:24 PM
Corsarius said...

well-said, trans. a more than worthy tribute to people wasted by meaningless deeds. i fear that the next time they will strike here in our own country, it will be as brutal, if not worse.

6:40 PM
nin said...

well said....
lets pray for the poor souls who are still fighting for their breath....

11:57 PM
Fist said...

Is there a legal age for prostitutes in Vietnam?

12:55 AM
finnegan said...

ditto all the above sentiments cubed.

1:47 PM
Spicy Cauldron said...

It's Monday and the sun is shining fiercely in London bringing with it a stifling heat. There are still fewer people out and about than would be normal for a day like today, and the levels of polite interaction are definitely up. Everyone is glad to be alive and scared of dying at any moment. Nobody can assure us of the Tube's safety, or that of the buses. Nobody could before and we all felt a little wobble when having to use London's public transport system.

I logged onto the BBC News site this morning to find a headline piece which ran long the lines of 'Go back to work, Londoners urged'. It was changed less than an hour later, now reading 'Defiant Londoners go back to work'. Yet the article itself remains unchanged. It's clear we are being hit with propaganda at a time when we are susceptible, weak and psychically injured as a nation. Perhaps now we will see an upsurge of support for ID cards, the biggest attack on our civil liberties since the Poll Tax.

I can accept no justification for last week's bombing outrages, for there is none; the atrocities were the work of cowards. But at the same time, we live in a world where violence is legitimised too damn often; where our G8 leaders stand as hypocrites, victims of terrorism all but often the very people who inflict state-sanctioned terrorism such as the illegal war against Iraq. How can we justify one form of barbaric behaviour under the guise of promoting democracy? Defending democracy is another thing entirely, should be another thing entirely. I'm not arguing against defence. I'm arguing against all forms of aggression. It is debatable among those not inclined towards hysterical and blinkered responses as to whether attacks such as those London experienced last week were unprovoked aggression; to me, they were not entirely unprovoked but they can never, ever be said to be excused or justified. Death should come of its own volition; nobody should never help it along.

What I am saying is this: if this country and the US had kept out of the affairs of the Middle East, did not give such unblinkered support to Israel in its ongoing and disgusting humiliation of the Palestinians, and if we did not go about starting illegal wars on pretence of bringing freedom when truth is it's all about the oil, then the chances of this terrible terrorist attack last week might at least have been considerably lessened if not diminished entirely. Terrorists do not grow in vacuums, nor do they materialise in conditions where the majority are happy. Terrorists grow in number through what they perceive to be injustices against themselves - yet how they go on to justify atrocities against people is beyond me. Still, we must look at the planetary conditions as a whole when thinking of responses to outrages against our individual nations. A global problem - terrorism - does require a global solution. I just don't think it's the one Bush has half-formed in his small primate brain. But Blair, his ally... is intelligent, a skilled negotiator. Why he ever allied with Bush's 'War on Terror' I will never know. It got us nothing in return, not even Kyoto-related concessions. The US still stands as a nation wilfully blind to the truth of global warming and the consequences of that - far more impactful than any given terrorist attack, no matter how horrendous.

We cannot divorce the horror from the politics and lies which surround it; neither can we excuse the horror because of the politics and lies. Violence is never a solution and always wrong.

If we could get that idea into the heads of Bush and Blair as well as Bin Laden and every other fanatic, then we might start to see some progress towards a real and lasting global peace. For now, the lost lives of those caught in a crossfire of ideologies, obsessions and expediencies must be grieved for, their loss acknowledged.

People died last week across the entire world who should not have died. They died because of bombs, starvation, torture, needs and hatreds. I am sorry for them all. I am only one man. But together? We can do this. We can put an end to the madness. It takes time and the willingness to act compassionately, defiantly and openly: the courage to make a difference. Play it forward.

6:13 PM postmastergeneral said... It hits me when you people can sometimes feel so dramatic about news like this. so what's new? hunger, corruption, poverty, drugs and the like surrounds you and never did i remember you writing something as profound about it when you know exactly where you're from, who you are, how you look! you are full of shit you plagiarist you! you just have to write something about the bombings in london to social climb! you cheap son of a bitch! blogwhore! accept your fucking ugliness and if you can't, i suggest you solicit thru blogshitting money for your major makeover and surgery, blogbitch! but then again, I just don't know what to do with myself everytime i see the likes of you on blogger. i feel like hacking into blogger and rip this page apart and step on your fugly face! And then this hatred i feel for you, your monsterspank, ramen messenger and ambassador to your islandfuckinguglydictateduponprincessmaidfrogbitch will fade. Go away!!!

i happen to save this comment before it was deleted by the blog administrator. a lot was posted after this but was not fortunate enough to save all. a post in itself. :-D

4:12 PM
Pincushion said...

Thank you for this.
Take care..

4:28 PM
monsterspank said...

Yes very sad. There is such feeling that runs through this post.

12:03 AM
Jackal said...

'and 6,672 miles away from home is a heart that beats and hurts and weeps. my heart.'

This I totally relate to.

4:46 AM
transience said...

thanks for the comments, everyone. the london bombings affected us in different ways. and though it is sad that it should take a tragedy like this to inspire solidarity, we should focus on the lessons that we've learned instead. and the fact that life is precious and is always worth preserving.

10:06 AM

posted by transience at 6:16 PM on Jul 8, 2005
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